Friday, July 03, 2009
block tests are finally over. by right i shd be updating on concert and how i enjoyed myself after my last paper. somehow, im just not in the right mood to blog abt all those things.
now that i'm free frm everything (except hw), i took a good look at myself. i found it very funny that im actually in a very pathetic state. haha, why have i landed myself into such a pathetic state? everything's not going right. perhaps 'I' am the problem. I'm just not good (not 'not good enough', but really 'not good' or even 'incapable').
now take a peek into the future. i realised that all these troubles that i've caused, are going to bring unpleasant repercussions. i've tried to be resilient and get over the sadness, but it just keeps coming back to me, or it'll eventually be raked up again. ): it makes me lose the courage to look into the future. haha, seriously, y m i in such a state?! i wasnt like that. m i becoming more and more vulnerable or what? i've a feeling that i may not be able to take so many blows at a time. and i realised that i've been becoming more n more pessimistic. sighs, tell me where's the real sheila!
oh well, i predict that things won't be the same as before. what can i do? just accept it lor, what other choices do i have! haha... i dont like to say this but i really hate the current 'me'.):
please teach me how to smile again.
12:10 AM
Till we meet again..
